How to Keep a Friend

Start with the first step. Proceed.

1. Make a new friend.
2. Spend time together.
3. Be your true self, especially when it’s difficult.
4. Disagree.
5. Let them go.
6. Figure out how to soothe yourself.
7. Welcome them back.
8. Willingly fall further into friendship’s gooey centre.
9. Copy what you envy.
10. Forget who’s who.
11. Draw a line.
12. Notice recurring border skirmishes.
13. Learn about yourself.
14. Draw a different line, one that includes all of you.
15. Do your best, even if it’s not enough.
16. Take a break.
17. Notice what changes.
18. Ruthlessly work to take back any unkindness.
19. Hold your friend’s hands until they’re warm again.
20. Decide to love yourself best by forgiving, even if you’re not sure how.
21. Remember all the good things. (There were lots.)
22. Accrue private jokes.
23. Count up the years.
24. Catalogue the stories and talk about them in code.
25. Accept the whole friend, including what bugs you about them.
26. Realize that you wouldn’t be you without your friend.
27. Praise the change you got from them.
28. Praise the change you resisted.
29. Get to know your friend’s friends.
30. Make a new friend.

Related reading: Pep Talk | Flip, Book | How to Live with an Idiot

Flickr photo: Old friends, by kevindooley